Get all 8 Amina Shareef Ali releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of In The Dark (Awake Of Course), Vol. 2, Songs She Didn't Write, In The Dark (Awake Of Course), Vol. 1, A Place to Remember the Dead, How To End The War, Holy Rock & Roll, The Once & Future Boyfriend, and Music From And Inspired By Our Doomed Love Affair.
1. |
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Yeah, you know life ain't no chocolate box
Shit ain't sweet so much as half the time
I'd love a word with that confectioner
Dreamed up the toothaches that I've had in mine
Guess I'm lucky to have had my pick
Robin, you were one of the good ones
I've wasted years making myself sick
Searching for the flavor I tasted once
Though I know that I'm still in your heart
Wonder how it ever got so full
How can one heart hold so much
How is that even possible
Getting older ain't always a gas, but
It ain't the same as getting closer to death
So maybe I forgive you after all
For stopping me from destroying myself
Put away all of my best laid plans
Figure everything will take its course
I fall asleep sitting in the sun
Or lie there in the dark, awake of course
Found some scraps I think could be redeemed
I guess it happens to the worst of them
I've given up trying to be free
Instead I'm trying to be worth a damn
Though I know that I'm still in your heart
Wonder how it ever got so full
How can one heart hold so much
How is that even possible
Getting older ain't always a gas, but
It ain't the same as getting closer to death
So maybe I forgive you after all
For stopping me from destroying myself
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2. |
Artifacts
03:14
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I skipped calling on your birthday this year
In case you're still there keeping score
Guess you planned a lot of funerals lately
You probably figured, what's one more
Honey, you're gonna wanna take your time
Reconsider any promises you wanna make
Only thing for sure is it's gonna take time
But that's not all it's gonna take
My life is littered with your artifacts
Memories shimmering and slow
But if all our joy is already past
Then I can take my memories and go
But you cannot hate what I became
Without hating things that already were
So was it a seed, or was it a worm
That you discovered at the apple's core
And maybe your heart knows shame
Maybe you figure you can't come back
You would know that better than me
But if you do, you better come correct
And I sort of wish that I could speed it up
To when I'm ready to forgive
But it ain't the time that I wish it was
No, it's the time that it is
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3. |
Tinder
02:54
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Time was I could beg my lover to stay
Pointing out that we were both hurting
We're both too old for that shit now
And I can't even do the next worst thing
Pretend that I don't understand
What I couldn't in my ephemeral youth
That what you whispered weren't promises
But just your temporal truth
Time was what I thought we'd plenty of
When I took that last raincheck
Now I know that they're past redemption
But I'm still not past regret
Our imagined future cherished times
Sweet memories ahead
Rendered down into a few lines
Of melody instead
Time was I could've held back your words
That made us walk our separate ways
Dear, you know I know the temptation
To send it up in a spectacular blaze
Yeah I know it aches to carry it
But dropping it smarts even more
Don't give the dry tinder of my heart
The spark it so longs for
Yeah, I know it aches to carry it
Better than spilling it 'cross the floor
Don't give the dry tinder of my heart
The spark it so longs for
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4. |
Is Love A Bird?
02:50
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Sweetest song I ever heard
Up and gone 'fore I've even stirred
Leave without saying a word
Is love a bird
Unwelcome guest, unwitting host
Thing I've feared and longed for most
A little death, or something close
Is love a ghost
As sharp as shale, as smooth as bone
As plain as dun, as rich as roan
A bond avowed, a distance thrown
Is love a stone
A stream of thought, a rite rehearsed
A silent prayer, a chanted curse
To raise the dead, or something worse
Is love a verse
Is love a bird
Awesome, frightful or absurd
Is love a ghost
Kept from rest by a secret not one other soul knows
Is love a stone
A splash in the night, a crack and a groan
Is love a verse
A race to see who can finish first
Quarry undetected, hunter undeterred
Is love a bird
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5. |
Laurel Leaves
03:36
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When Laurel wakes, in a fog of dreams and hair
When Laurel aches, she aches everywhere
Her belly, her shoulder, her temple throbbing and sore
When Laurel leaves, she leaves me wanting more
When Laurel cries, her eyes more red than blue
When Laurel lies, the truth more false than true
It's a misprinted headline, the former tenant's house keys
When Laurel leaves, she leaves me ill at ease
When Laurel leaves, she don't leave me with a lot
If I had the shot, I would take back every part
Every sin, every wicked or noble thought
Out of the goodness or badness of her heart
When Laurel spreads herself across my skin, I never felt so soft
When I can't pick out her flag above the fray, I never felt so lost
When Laurel lends herself to my stock, I taste her more the next day
When Laurel keeps me, she keeps my troubles at bay
When Laurel keeps me, she keeps my troubles at bay
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6. |
A Student Of Love
05:04
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My whole life I've spent as a student of love
It's amazing how much ground you can cover
Not looking back, and not looking above
Just putting one foot in front of the other
I've toiled and I've pondered each lesson in turn
Reminded myself I'd live without it
But when you told me to choose the next lesson I learn
I had to sit down in the shower about it
Love, I implore you
Love, I revere you
Love, I adore you
But I don't fear you
I orate, I dance, I nominate myself
To judge the fitness of reason
You level my stance, you say, prostrate thyself
only witness the season
The harsh knife of winter, the cool balm of spring
The sweat and stench of summer's garden
But none so majestic as when life salutes death
The color and crackle of autumn
What formula love? At best, it's clear you
Are neither solution nor solvent.
Love, I adore you, but I've never feared you
Maybe that's my problem
I would plead, I would pray, I would pay just to get it
In writing, that promise you gave
Whether tender or wise, child, never forget it:
Love is anything but safe
Love, I implore you
Love, I revere you
Love, I adore you
But I don't fear you
Should I summon the storm? The rain and the thunder
of judgment? Perish the thought
I pick this ruin of pain and of wonder
And cherish my queer broken heart
Each morning my burden the same as before
To shoulder this boulder up the hill
And each day I say I couldn't love you any more
When we both know full well I will
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7. |
Twin
01:56
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I am my own twin, I am my own twin
I am a squirming pitiful vermin
Exterminate me, I am a termite
You tolerate me, you kiss your house goodbye
Send me with poison back to my own kind
Tell me it's medicine, I'll realize in my own time
Give me the right tools to fix my own mind
I am my own twin, I am my own twin
I am a symbiont
He lives inside of me, his personality
It still inflects me, I remember his dreams
We shared a childhood, started on the right foot
But try as we could, we weren't no good
Try as we could, neither of us were any good
I am my own twin, they'd dress us up the same
My mom still gets confused sometimes and calls me his name
He came out first so they love him just a little more
But I know none of us are getting what we long for
No, I know none of us are getting what we bargained for
I used to feel him, but I forgot how
I loved him too, Ma, but I'm all you've got now
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8. |
I Don't Close The Book
03:11
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Couple years back when I was back in L.A.
I fell in with my high school lover
We had a weeklong romance back in the day
Couple years back we had another
We reminisced about the things we used to do
We did some things we'd never done before
And she told me she never expected to
I said honey, I'll tell you what for
I don't close the book on nothing
I don't ever douse the flame
Once the spirit knocks I don't tell it
To get back to whence it came
You might think the chapter's ending
But if you take a closer look
That's my finger in the binding
I don't ever close the book
Darling, for years now, you've taught me about passion
But it's been that other sort for awhile
We shared a tenderness of our own particular fashion
We fell out in spectacular style
Right at this time I don't wanna say hi on the street
Yeah, I guess you could say that it's been rough
But down the line if it still feels like something's sweet
Honey, I know myself well enough
I don't close the book on nothing
I don't ever douse the flame
Once the spirit knocks I don't tell it
To get back to whence it came
You might think the chapter's ending
But if you take a closer look
That's my finger in the binding
I don't ever close the book
I got my finger in the binding
I don't ever close the book
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9. |
Love Of My Death
04:38
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Well you entered my heart just as quiet and quick as a blade
So how can I say it wouldn't have been worse if you'd stayed
The truth is only true the first time that you speak it
Like any other secret, ain't no one can keep it
And it can't keep itself
But never fear, there's other stories to tell
I swallowed those kisses like expensive medicine
But each time I missed a dose, had to start the course again
So I slipped deeper in love, I slid deeper in debt
Love of my life, love of my death
When last we laid eyes, a parting so bloodless and neat
No mess on your hands but the stain won't come out of the sheet
It's selfish I know but after all that we'd been through
I wanted to make you take some part of me with you
And still keep myself
Now I'm not here, I'm not here, and I'm not anywhere else
All those presents I left on the porch for you
You know I didn't pay for them, you know they weren't free
Is it true that I carry a torch for you
I certainly don't do it for me
I swallowed those kisses like expensive medicine
But each time I missed a dose, had to start the course again
So I slipped deeper in love, I slid deeper in debt
Love of my life, love of my death
I shunned my senses, just as if I'd seen a ghost
A story I didn't dare share, and now it was years ago
But it wasn't clear there was anything there 'til there was nothing left
Love of my life, love of my death
Love of my life, love of my death
Love of my life, love of my death
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10. |
Farewell To My Man
04:12
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Today's the day that I said farewell to my man
Packed up, left half my stuff, I didn't have a plan
But last night I drew The Moon, and this morning I drew Death
I left my lipstick on the shot glass, I didn't waste another breath
I can't say I was never yours
In the pool hall, in the punk bar, in the backseat, yeah of course
You wonder why it's ending, but you don't know why it began
It's eighteen to the state line, and farewell to my man
I loved you in linen, or grimy with bike grease
In tank tops, in blue jeans cut off above the knees
But that hat you wore, oh, it's such a bore, and this is just to say
I'm keeping your leather jacket, it looks better on me anyway
I can't say you were never mine
You were darling when you faltered, when you swaggered you were swine
If there's a pay phone at the rest stop, I'll call you when I can
But it's two bucks to the counter girl, and farewell to my man
I can't say I'll never be back
And I might quit smoking, right after opening a new pack
You gave it everything you had, I took all that I could stand
All my love to you, babe, but farewell to my man
Call up my tattoo guy, I've got some chapters to end
It's sixty minimum to Matty, and farewell to my man
And ain't no one is innocent, I know it like the back of my hand
All my love to you, babe, but farewell to my man
All my love to you, babe, but farewell to my man
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11. |
Andi, Amanda, Amina
03:34
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Andi, I want to tell you something from my truest heart
From my blackest heart, from my bluest heart
I asked Amanda if she thought I was a fool
she doesn't entertain questions like that, as a rule
I came to love you from my meanest heart
from my reddest heart, from my greenest heart
A year ago I said I wouldn't say it anymore
but the fact is, Andi, I'm even readier than before
I know you don't speak in code, but if you did
I've heard a shred of doubt is a place you've often hid
So from my youngest heart, from my oldest heart
I'm calling to you from the boldest part
Andi, come and live with me, look at all the space I've got
Amanda finally answered me, no Amina, of course not
I told her what I'd say if I were telling it to someone else
Of course you are, now get out there, make a fool out of yourself
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Amina Shareef Ali Oakland, California
Based in Oakland, California, Amina Shareef Ali performs songs of love and struggle, of pain and wonder, of loss and redemption. Lyrics by turns poignant and sardonic are set against a backdrop of American music both traditional and modern, from folk to punk to country to jazz to rock and roll. ... more
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